Trying to keep action in alignment with insight, which for me has meant, a lot of false starts, pause, reconsidering, waiting, then action.
Why I respond.
I respond because I see what I perceive as injustice and it hurts me to sit at the sidelines.
I respond, not to change your mind, but to engage in a conversation to get to know each other better and hopefully to gain some insight into your point of view. Not, to convince you that my point of view is right nor to be converted to yours….but to recognize that there is a reason we each hold our views and perhaps between us we have some common ground.
It might be a slim circle, but I’d bet it exists, because the thing I KNOW is that I can only view the world from my perspective, my limited view point based on all my experiences, studies, brain structure, etc. all of which, are different from yours. It means I cannot see the world as you do if I think my truth is the only truth and I keep my eyes closed to the vastly larger field that is around me.
I am standing facing WNW, you are standing facing SSE, if we each took the time to turn around we might see a vastly different perspective, to find a TRUE NORTH.
I hate using the word ‘sides’ because it artificially creates a barrier between us.
Throughout my life I’ve learned that telling people what to do does not work, so I’m not going to try to do that here and hopefully I remember that day in and day out.
If we have a conversation and it appears I forgot – please ask me to check in and see what is going on. We all care passionately about things we believe are ‘right.’
But your TELLING ME, loudly and abrasively does not help me to try and step in and see from your point of view.
Your asking questions and getting curious about how/why I could see things the way I do and my, not getting defensive when you do, helps me to articulate what is going on for me.
Your listening with an openness to try and understand without immediately forming your own response (ie: cutting off the ability to listen).
You doing these same things when I ask questions, helps me to understand you. In the end we may not, probably will not, agree but hopefully we will have the ability to
remove a barrier, to put our defenses down to develop more understanding and caring for each other as people.
My heart is breaking watching what is happening in OUR world and it is my belief that the more we dig in our heels that we are ‘right,’ and stop listening to one another, the worse it is going to become.
I want to have intelligent conversations where we shift our points of view because we gained some insight we didn’t have before.
That will not happen if we are calling names, placing blame, shaming one another.
I’m a believer in continuous improvement.